Injury Ramblings

I had just been thinking about how well my training had been going lately. The last 6 months are probably the most consistent and dialed-in I’ve ever been with both my strength and endurance work. I was feeling the strongest I’ve ever felt on a bike and had some high hopes for the rest of the year. All it took was coming into a slick patch of pavement a little too fast to change all that.

Once the initial shock of the crash wore off I paused my watch (of course) and did a quick assessment of my body: Considerable road rash down my left leg (ok, I’ve had worse), a deep gash and golf ball sized lump under my left eye (this will look pretty for my cousin’s wedding next weekend), and least visible but most concerning, a deep pain around my left wrist any time I moved or put weight on it. I could tell it was bad (but not bad enough to call someone instead of biking the 12 miles back home with one hand…) and knew I’d have to get some imaging done. 3 hours later I left urgent care with a confirmed fracture of the distal radius and an order to keep my wrist in a brace for 6-8 weeks.

To put it lightly, I don’t handle being injured very well. Much (and you could argue too much at times) of my identity is wrapped up in my physical abilities and endurance sport. I’ve gotten a little better about this as I’ve overcome injury after injury over the years, but I still find it very hard when some aspect of that is taken away.

The morning of my accident author Steve Magness posted a concept of his that has become one of my favorites the last couple years which he calls the “24-hour rule” Specifically for after a performance or competition, but it can apply to other areas of life too. “You can celebrate or be upset after, but when you wake up the next morning, it's time to move on. Basking in the glory or wallowing in the pain for too long lead to negative outcomes. Win or lose, get back to work soon after.”

Feel what you need to feel, process it, accept it, then move forward. Focus on what is still in your control and do whatever you can to make the best of it. Of course there are circumstances when a longer period of grieving or celebration are warranted, but you get the point. 

This weekend I let myself feel it all: sadness, anger, disappointment, fear,  embarrassment. I cried and sulked, and thought about how unfair it all is and that I didn’t deserve this.

I won’t say I’m “over it,” but I’m ready to move on from it.

I’ll end this rambling essay with the following. The first from Rudyard Kipling’s “If” (one of my favorites):

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same

And the question:

What if this was a gift?